They Hate Us for Our Freedom

  • Jamie: If it's us being terrorists, it doesn't get covered.
  • Allison: Exactly, and we would certainly never call it terrorism.
  • Jamie: Even though, I bet the people of Iraq are *really* afraid when they see America.
  • Allison: Well, what you were just saying, about how you don't retaliate by killing innocent civilians. That's exactly what the US military did after September 11. We were like, "You don't kill civilians, WE kill civilians!".
  • Jamie: And then we're like, "We're rebuilding! By replacing people.... with nothing."
  • Allison: "No, no, hear us out... We hired a really shady company named Halliburton that isn't *really* good at construction but we're going to give them BILLIONS of dollars."
  • Jamie: "Oh there's no room to build? We're going to like, remove the women and children, with bullets, so then like 'Oh where are we going to put that building? How about where that kid was?'"
  • Allison: Right, right. "But, I know you're mad... hear us out... we're going to leave... before anything's accomplished."
  • Jamie: Now, you're probably going to be like, "Why did they just come in, fuck everything up and leave?" Well that's because you don't understand democracy.
  • Allison: BOOM.
  • Jamie: All done.
  • Allison: And of course the boom would actually be a cluster bomb going off.

"What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman."

Robin Thicke (no, really)

oh but he’s white so it’s harmless instead of those *gasp* rappers

seriously there’s a huge fucking deal about misogyny in hip hop and R&B, but it only focuses on artists who are PoC, yet some fucking gangrenous white boy can get away with this shit and nobody speaks up, he gets to perform on national television and there is no backlash

(via vivianvivisection)

People say, “Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?” I’m like, “Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I’ve never gotten to do that before. I’ve always respected women.”

IF DEGRADING A WOMAN IS SUCH A FORBIDDEN PLEASURE THAT YOU’RE GLAD TO ENGAGE IN BECAUSE YOU’RE SUCH A NICE GUY, YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY A NICE GUY. YOU’RE A HYPOCRITE AND A NASTY, NASTY INDIVIDUAL.

(via archetypalboner)

and people were complaining about miley cyrus

let that sink in

the young woman (who is admittedly very problematic in other areas) being treated like an object gets criticism and ire, but the man old enough to be her father who is grinding her and using her and probably knows a whole lot better than she does how shitty his behavior is, he just gets ignored.

(via fedoraharp)

(Source: dimestoretajic, via quoilecanard)

O. M. G. So adorable!

Being a junior librarian

Spend weeks working on new tools, learning new programming languages, double and triple checking that senior librarians are all good with the new tools and using Google Analytics. Implement the tools. Roll them out across the websites. Promote them heavily. Get told they’re no good because Google Analytics isn’t good enough, and to use the old, shitty, bad UI rubbish they had before. Accept decision graciously, do “fix”, bitch about it on Tumblr.

What the fuck, Tumblr? Why are fucking sponsored posts in my feed??

sasssmouth-deactivated20140618 said: Lolololol. I liked that like 2 hours ago and just went to paint my face over yours then I realised IT WAS YOU then poked myself in the eye and now I'm crying. So good.

Do I know you?

The Band was Dead

I wrote this today while I was cleaning. It’s my friend Holly, who’s running a flash fiction comp over at her blog, Confessions of a Stuffed Olive.

The rules are:
250 words max
Zombies must be in it
It must be funny

Now, I’m not sure if this is particularly funny, and I know it doesn’t scan, but it’s been ages since I’ve written anything. So here goes.


The band were dead,
But how could you tell?
Blank staring eyes,
Slack, open mouths - well,
They looked like every other band
Who’d played that venue’s stage,
And they were better than most,
Talent is rare in this town, I’m afraid.

When the drummer caught fire,
Which isn’t as strange as it sounds,
They just kept on playing,
Their decent cover of ‘Old London Town’.
Some of us at the bar
Cottoned on then,
And snuck suspicious glances
Between us, and them.

The barman stared blankly,
As some bar staff do,
Some of us gripped glasses,
Not sure what to do.
The drummer kept burning,
But the lead singer stopped,
He let go of his mic,
The PA went POCK!
With yellow teeth bared,
He lurched into the crowd,
And started chomping away
On the first groupie he found.
The groupie’s back arched,
As the singer’s hands clawed
Into his skull and
Pulled out his spinal cord.

And with that act of transgression,
The crowd started to flee,
Getting stuck in the exits,
Which were not meant for three.
Some of us stayed;
We knew what was up
The undead had risen,
It was time to get tough.

The drummer had set fire
To most of the stage;
The bass player’s Fender
was covered in flames.
I cracked my knuckles,
Grabbed two bottles of Jack,
And threw them directly
At the amp stack.
The amp stack exploded,
With a predictable bang,
And that was when
Our battle began.

anonymous-atheist:

A man stopped by the Applebees that fired that waitress for posting the receipt from a pastor who didn’t want to give her a tip. This was the letter he left. It reads: 
Dear Applebee’s:
Let me cut to the chase: I find your termination of Ms. Chelsea Welch (an otherwise excellent and hard working employee) downright deplorable and appalling. As far as I’m concerned, she did absolutely NOTHING “wrong” when posting the image of that receipt with that insulting comment made by the customer Pastor Alois Bell.
First off, there was absolutely nothing mentioned in the employee handbook admonishing this kind of behavior, but more importantly (if you wish to argue otherwise) just how much “personal information” could have possibly been divulged to the public just by the customer’s signature? NOWHERE was the customer’s full name, credit card information, address or even YOUR restaurant’s name indicated on the photograph of that receipt which is far more incriminating and potentially damaging information than just a signature alone.
How is a mere signature going to help a criminal commit an act of identity theft? Local health inspectors and fire/safety inspectors have their signatures prominently displayed on certificates posted publicly by restaurants like yours… can THEY complain that you publicly displayed their “private information”?
As far as I’m concerned the only “damage” done was to the pastor’s shallow and “precious” ego. Nothing more, nothing less. She could’ve have simply ignored the post, not said anything and just went on with her cheap and inconsiderate, stingy ways. No one would’ve been the wiser. But no. She HAD to complain to the manager and have an otherwise fantastic employee fired simply because she was embarrassed.
Ms. Welch did absolutely NOTHING to publicly embarrass/humiliate her…. MS. BELL DID. And cared more about her ego than actually righting a wrong and offering to not only fairly tip what was rightfully due to Ms. Welch, but fight to get her re-hired. Ms. Alois Bell, the pathetic excuse of a human being she is, did absolutely NONE of that… and YOUR company has the NERVE to stand by her side???
As a part time pizza delivery driver myself, I KNOW first hand what its like to work for a less than minimum wage depending almost entirely on tips just to pay basic necessities such as food and rent. Yeah, I get the “average” principle and try not to take the occasional stuff so seriously, however, on some really bad days when I have runs that I have to drive far, using MY personal vehicle and MY personal gas, and get nothing, its not only very frustrating but completely unfair that I get taxed at federal minimum wage rate when [I’m] actually making LESS in that hour delivering to these inconsiderate customers who have no clue as to what SERVICE is all about. Essentially getting taxed on money that I’m NOT making. And THIS is what your company CONDONES and is PROUD OF?!?!?!
Long story short: I have come to your Easy Brunswick/Milltown restaurant NOT to order anything…but to simply use the restroom, get my complimentary water with lemon and just LEAVE but not without generously tipping your server for doing nothing more than bringing me menus and water.
Furthermore I promised the server that should this letter appear online and go viral, that I’ll be returning to the store and DOUBLING his/her tip. And since he/she has my full permission and consent to post this letter online with MY NAME and signature fully visible, there isn’t ANYTHING that you can do about it.
Yours very sincerely and respectfully,
A now FORMER customer of yours,
Michael T. Zybura (attached $10)
(source)

anonymous-atheist:

A man stopped by the Applebees that fired that waitress for posting the receipt from a pastor who didn’t want to give her a tip. This was the letter he left. It reads: 

Dear Applebee’s:

Let me cut to the chase: I find your termination of Ms. Chelsea Welch (an otherwise excellent and hard working employee) downright deplorable and appalling. As far as I’m concerned, she did absolutely NOTHING “wrong” when posting the image of that receipt with that insulting comment made by the customer Pastor Alois Bell.

First off, there was absolutely nothing mentioned in the employee handbook admonishing this kind of behavior, but more importantly (if you wish to argue otherwise) just how much “personal information” could have possibly been divulged to the public just by the customer’s signature? NOWHERE was the customer’s full name, credit card information, address or even YOUR restaurant’s name indicated on the photograph of that receipt which is far more incriminating and potentially damaging information than just a signature alone.

How is a mere signature going to help a criminal commit an act of identity theft? Local health inspectors and fire/safety inspectors have their signatures prominently displayed on certificates posted publicly by restaurants like yours… can THEY complain that you publicly displayed their “private information”?

As far as I’m concerned the only “damage” done was to the pastor’s shallow and “precious” ego. Nothing more, nothing less. She could’ve have simply ignored the post, not said anything and just went on with her cheap and inconsiderate, stingy ways. No one would’ve been the wiser. But no. She HAD to complain to the manager and have an otherwise fantastic employee fired simply because she was embarrassed.

Ms. Welch did absolutely NOTHING to publicly embarrass/humiliate her…. MS. BELL DID. And cared more about her ego than actually righting a wrong and offering to not only fairly tip what was rightfully due to Ms. Welch, but fight to get her re-hired. Ms. Alois Bell, the pathetic excuse of a human being she is, did absolutely NONE of that… and YOUR company has the NERVE to stand by her side???

As a part time pizza delivery driver myself, I KNOW first hand what its like to work for a less than minimum wage depending almost entirely on tips just to pay basic necessities such as food and rent. Yeah, I get the “average” principle and try not to take the occasional stuff so seriously, however, on some really bad days when I have runs that I have to drive far, using MY personal vehicle and MY personal gas, and get nothing, its not only very frustrating but completely unfair that I get taxed at federal minimum wage rate when [I’m] actually making LESS in that hour delivering to these inconsiderate customers who have no clue as to what SERVICE is all about. Essentially getting taxed on money that I’m NOT making. And THIS is what your company CONDONES and is PROUD OF?!?!?!

Long story short: I have come to your Easy Brunswick/Milltown restaurant NOT to order anything…but to simply use the restroom, get my complimentary water with lemon and just LEAVE but not without generously tipping your server for doing nothing more than bringing me menus and water.

Furthermore I promised the server that should this letter appear online and go viral, that I’ll be returning to the store and DOUBLING his/her tip. And since he/she has my full permission and consent to post this letter online with MY NAME and signature fully visible, there isn’t ANYTHING that you can do about it.

Yours very sincerely and respectfully,

A now FORMER customer of yours,

Michael T. Zybura (attached $10)

(source)